Think good thoughts

April 7, 2009

As of 11 p.m. tonight, Wes hasn’t had a bradycardia since last Friday, which would make tomorrow the coveted “Day Five”.  If he continues to be a good boy tonight and tomorrow morning, we get to bring him home tomorrow night!!!  I can’t even tell you how it feels to be thinking/typing that, but I’m sure you can all imagine. 

I am starting to worry about the cost of feeding three boys though – Wes is such a little piggy – he’s been eating 3 ounces of a breastmilk/formula blend every 3-4 hours!!!  We weighed him tonight, and he was almost 7 pounds already (6 lbs, 12.5 oz)!  Oink, oink!!!  Thankfully, our favorite daytime nurse, Jan, gave us a few cans of their super expensive preemie formula, but I am NOT looking forward to buying more of this stuff (it’s $15 a can).  And can you imagine what these boys are going to eat once they start really growing?  Yikes!

Breastfeeding/pumping still isn’t going very well.  My supply is just absolute crap (for those of you who are wondering, I’m lucky to pump 12 ounces per DAY, when technically I “should” be pumping at least 48 ounces per day).  I’ve tried all of the tricks – warm compresses, massage, eating more/drinking more water, power-pumping, Fenugreek/Blessed Thistle combo, and now I’m taking (prescription) Reglan to try to up my supply a little bit.  I know that every little bit of BM they get is beneficial, but it gets increasingly hard to BF/pump when I consistently feel like a failure (I know I’m not a failure, I just feel like it sometimes).  Trying the Reglan is my “hail Mary” if you will – if this doesn’t work, I’m done.  Done pumping and done breastfeeding.  I will have to be okay with formula feeding, because I think that will be the best thing for my sanity.  Our boys (and Jeff) deserve a happy Mom, don’t you think?

It’s really common for moms of preemies (and even more common for preemie moms with multiples) to have supply issues, so I really try not to be too hard on myself.  Not only is pumping getting to be the biggest pain in the ass, but breastfeeding has also been really challenging.  In order to be discharged from the hospital, the boys had to take all of their (full) feedings from a bottle, so I hadn’t breastfed either one of them in weeks.  I just started trying with Max again since he’s been home, and he just doesn’t seem to dig it.  He has a great latch, but just shows no interest in working that hard for his food (which I think is because my supply is crap and he’s just not getting it fast enough to motivate him).  If it’s not coming fast enough for him, it certainly won’t be fast enough for our little porker!

Max had his follow-up eye exam with the children’s ophthalmologist today, and he PASSED!  YAY!!  When we got to the office, I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack – there were about 40 kids in the (very large) waiting area.  I checked in with the receptionist, and she pointed us back to a special waiting area where they let the families of pre-term babies wait.  Whew!  It’s nice that they recognize that preemies need to stay away from all of the germs they can – especially during RSV season, and especially at this young of an age.

Almost two hours later (I wish I was kidding) for a five minute appointment, and we were done.  They had to give Max drops to dilate his pupils so that they could check movement to make sure that it was normal.  I had to sit out the appointment (I was told I didn’t want to be in there), but Jeff stayed in the room and held Max while the doctor propped his eyes open with something similar to an eye specula.  This is when I heard the screams.  Our poor baby.  I stood outside the examination room with tears welling in my eyes, just listening to our little one crying in pain and fear.  Horrible.  I can’t even talk about it anymore – the important thing is that he passed, and they won’t need to see him back there for another 7 months, or so.  Thank God!

Anyway, we rewarded Max for being so brave with a nice walk with Rex in our super cool new stroller (I love that thing).  I’m hoping for some good weather this week so that we can take BOTH boys for a walk, just as we had hoped to do from the minute we found out we were expecting…

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Think good thoughts for us tomorrow – we’ll keep you posted!!!

Kerry

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14 Responses to “Think good thoughts”

  1. lauraandlee said

    What a wonderful post to get to read before bed! I am just unbelievably excited that you could have BOTH of your adorable boys home when you go to bed tomorrow night. I will think all the good thoughts possible for a quick homecoming for Wes. BIG hugs to all of you!!!

  2. angelika05 said

    COME ON WES!!!!! You can do it! Hopefully he will be home with you VERY soon!

  3. ischwab said

    Max looks so cute tucked in that stroller I can’t hardly stand it. I’m praying that this bumby road ends today. Come on Wes, time to come home!!

  4. Tiffany said

    Thoughts and prayers that your little man will come home!

  5. Cathy said

    Is Rex IN the stroller? Maybe you should have gotten a triple.

  6. nutmegs7 said

    Praying for you in every moment of today!! You can do it Wes – you know you want to go on a walk with mommy!

  7. Sock said

    Good thoughts headed your way!!!!

    I understand your concerns about the cost of the formula. One of my kitties is on an inhaler for asthma. At her current dose one inhaler lasts almost 4 months, which is good because they cost $150 a piece. Very expensive, some of these things are! Perhaps the special formula can count as medical expenses for taxes? (I’m wishing I could do the same with my vet bills…)

    Hugs to ya!

  8. Kiane said

    Come on Wes!! Sending lots of good thoughts & prayers your way for today! I really hope to see a post tonight or tomorrow with pics of little Wes AT HOME!

  9. liz said

    ditto cathy. is rex hiding in the other side? is he shielding himself from the paparazzi or something?

  10. Felicia said

    I am sending good thoughts your way.

    One thing you didn’t mention in the BFing difficulties is skin to skin contact… I have seen that help a lot of my students with supply issues, so it might be something to try – just you with one or both babies in only diapers, staying in bed for as long as possible and nursing as often as he/they will do it.

    But as you said, a happy mom is the most important thing!

    Can you look into donor breastmilk from the PSL milk bank? I think it requires a prescription but then insurance might cover it.

  11. militarywifealways said

    Come on Wes, saying prayers for you to go home. Hope your milk picks up but I see no reason why you should feel like a failure, failures don’t have oinks for babies ;0)

  12. Molly said

    I hope you’re holed up at home with BOTH BOYS tonight! xoxo

  13. mrsmarlowe said

    If you need to talk about supply issues I can so do that with you. I had to start Reglan when I went back to work. I took it until Aiden was 6 months. If you need to talk about any of the side effects, let me know.

  14. MoDLin said

    Breastfeeding twins is tough and often there are issues with preemies. You’ve been doing a great job and you’re right, any BM is beneficial.

    Have you visited the March of Dimes community for parents of preemies? It’s a great place to go to talk with other preemie parents about successes, challenges and ideas. It’s called Share Your Story and here’s a link to it: http://www.shareyourstory.org/.

    Your little guys are adorable!

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