The first night away from our boys

February 21, 2009

I have to admit that last night wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  Right before I was discharged, Jeff and I spent some time holding Max and Wes (no kangaroo care though, as they are hooked up to the CPAP again), and they were both perfect little angels.  Wes was staring at his daddy almost the entire time we were in their room, and Max just slept away in my arms, although he started waking up a little bit as we were getting ready to leave.  I was then wheeled out of the NICU, out of the post partum recovery area, and out to our car.  It was bittersweet – I hated leaving the boys by themselves, but I was so happy to finally have my freedom back.

We came straight home and I started pumping the minute I walked in the door – we were going to dinner, and I was going to have a drink, dammit (I deserved one after the day I had)!  Jeff and I then went out to a late dinner with my folks, my aunt Jan, and Kristy.  We went to one of my favorite restaurants (BJ’s), and I had a delicious pear cider – well, half of it anyway, since it hit me a little harder than I thought it would.  What a lightweight!  I barely made it through dinner and pumping when I got home because I was absolutely exhausted. 

The first night back home in my own bed wasn’t as comfortable as I thought it would be, although I did miss our 800 thread count sheets!  My incision was really sore, and I just couldn’t find a position to be comfortable in.  Then, when I finally settled down, I think I may have had a little panic attack.  I got really, really cold and began shivering – and I could NOT stop.  I was shivering so bad that I was tensing up, which made the incision really hurt – it was the weirdest thing, but only lasted about 5 minutes, so that was good.  I think I freaked Jeff out a little bit, but he was great as usual.  I only called the NICU once during the night (which REALLY surprised me), and the boys were both doing just fine.  We are going to hang with them in a little bit, so I’m going to try to catch a few zzz’s before we leave.

I’ll try to remember to post some new pics later today, too.  =)



10 Responses to “The first night away from our boys”

  1. jacqueblittle said

    Even though I have not got to meet you and Jeff yet, I still check your blog daily and pray for your family. It will get better and I can only imagine what you are feeling right now. Your boys are ADORABLE and I am amazed every day at your strength. You have not been given a choice whether to be strong or not, but really you are doing an amazing job , I admire you and Jeff. ((Hugs)) and I can’t wait to finally meet you and Jeff, Max and Wes, Rex too. Thank you for sharing your story, have a good day today. Jacque

  2. Lanie & Shane said

    Yay for getting in a little yum-yum at BJs! Hope you sleep better tonight! (P.S. My jammies were from the Motherhood outlet in C.R. – Let me know if you need me to run down there for you.)

  3. krazykids said

    Hang in there Kerry. I hope you get to sleeping a little better.

  4. Noell said

    Yay for getting out and having a drink last night! Kinda weird being a lightweight again huh? Makes for a cheap date though! LOL!
    I hope you, Jeff and the boys have a great day today! One day closer to having them home with you!

  5. lauraandlee said

    I’m glad that it was better than expected. HUGS hugs still to all of you.

  6. Kiane said

    I’m glad that last night was better than you expected 🙂 I hope you and Jeff have a great day with the boys today!

  7. Katey said

    BJ’s hard cider – yummy!!! I’m glad last night went better than you thought. I know with my incision, it felt better and better every day, so hopefully you can get some good sleep soon.

    Enjoy your little boys today – can’t wait to see some updated pics.

  8. Alexis said

    Welcome home! I’m glad you had a nice evening and had some cider. I’m excited to see more pics of the boys…send soon!

  9. Megan said

    I’m glad you were able to enjoy the night out, but sorry you weren’t able to get the sleep you wanted. I hope things get better for you soon!

  10. Sarah said

    I had the EXACT same thing happen to me one of the first nights I got home (and a day or two after my milk came in) with the violent shivering happening out of nowhere, right after I climbed into bed.
    Those crazy hormones!

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