A little sad tonight

December 3, 2008

A few minutes ago, our Wheaten-mix, Freddie, left with the woman who we adopted him from back in February.  It’s a really long story, and most of you actually know it, but for those of you who don’t know, I’ll recap.  Freddie has been biting me.  He bit me on Thanksgiving, and it was really, really bad – he got four teeth in me, and didn’t let go when I screamed.  This was probably about the 8th or 9th time he’s done this since April, and it was the last straw.  We’ve worked with a trainer, we’ve changed his diet, we’ve exercised him to the point of exhaustion, yet he keeps snapping at me with absolutely no warning, and we can’t have a dog like this in our home.  I’m done.  Jeff is done seeing me get hurt month after month.  I kept thinking it would get better, and it was only getting worse. 

Angelika (the woman who placed Freddie for his old owner) came over tonight to pick up Freddie for the night.  She has offered to try to find a foster home for Freddie because she feels so horrible that this has happened with him, and although I think she’s doing too much for us, she insists on doing it, so we’re letting her.  She is taking him to a behavorist tomorrow morning, where they will run all sorts of aggression tests on him – to basically make the decision if we should try to re-home him, or if it would be better for everyone, Freddie included, to euthanize him.

This isn’t a decision that I would be able to make not being pregnant, so you can only imagine the emotions I am going through right now.  I feel defeated.  I feel like all of the hard work we have done with Freddie in the last 10 months was for absolutely nothing.  I feel like we’re giving up too easily, even though we’ve done everything we can to give Freddie the most loving home he’s probably ever had in his life.  And tonight he’s gone, Rex is sulking on the couch (they are buddies, even though neither one of them likes to admit it), and I don’t know if he’s ever coming back.  I’m so heartbroken.

I also got some news today about one of my friends who has been having health problems – they think she may have MS.  I have several other friends with multiple sclerosis, and it’s just about the most unfair disease in the world (right there with Parkinson’s and Lou Gehrig’s).  I just hate that someone so young and full of life could be faced with a lifetime of struggle – and I can’t do anything to help.

Today has just been one of those days.  All of this, along with being completely SLAMMED at work for the third day in a row, makes me sooooo glad that I have all day off work on Friday.  I will see the BoGo for 2 hours (give or take a few minutes) for their big ultrasound, and Jeff’s company Christmas party (or Holiday party for the politically correct) is Friday night, so that should be fun.  I need a vacation, but I’ll settle for a fun day off work instead…



12 Responses to “A little sad tonight”

  1. Katie said

    I’m so sorry about Freddie. You tried everything you could.

  2. Katey said

    HUGE {{HUGS}}

  3. Lanie said


  4. Megan S. said

    I’m sorry that you are having to make this decision, Kerry. I pray that you will know the right thing to do when the time comes. And I am so so sorry to hear about your friend. You know how I feel about MS and I will add her to my list of people I walk for. Big hugs!

  5. Noell said

    I’m sorry Kerry! (((HUGS)))

  6. Deanne said

    Wow, I’m checking in after about a week. You’ve been one busy lady. Thank God you made the decision you did with Freddy, as hard as it is, you are not failures and you did the right thing for you all and him. I’m truly sorry. I’m also sad to hear about your friend. That is one of the things that always makes me think “why Lord?” and of course there is never an obvious answer. I hope she is able to manage it with guidance from good Drs. I have a friend who’s wife has lived w/ it over 10 years and you’d never know it. I hope the same for your friend. You look so great and best wishes for your visit on Friday with BOGO!

  7. alexis said

    Oh..I’m sorry. No matter the behavior, it’s still so hard. Did he start to change after you got pregnant? ((hugs))

  8. jkmastera said

    Alexis, it started about a month after we got him, so I wasn’t pregnant yet. =(

  9. MrsBond said

    I am really sorry you guys are going through this, but you did everything you could have done and now need to focus on the safety of your family. I hope the best comes to Freddie.

  10. Beth M said

    Awwwwwww. =( =( =(

    I’m SO sorry to hear about this. I know how much you have invested in Freddie and I also know what a big, ginormous, heart you have for your doggies and I can’t imagine how hard this is.

    Big HUGE hugs!!!

  11. Erica said

    I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this. ((hugs))

  12. Tarah said

    Oh man! I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m so sorry to hear about Freddie.

    I hope that for the sake of Freddie – he has some issues – so you can understand why he is biting you. It is kinda like Infertility if you think about it. You don’t want anything to be wrong because you love him and care for him, but at the same time you want some answers so you can understand why this keeps happening to you.

    I’m so sorry Kerry. Please take care of yourself and those boys. ((HUGS))

    I hope that your Friend is ok. I’ve only known one person with MS and it is just not fair.

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