Jekyll & Hyde

September 11, 2008

Dr. Jekyll

I am feeling MUCH better than I was on Tuesday.  I have started eating before I even get out of bed in the morning (a handful of raw almonds), and I really think it has helped me to deal with the nausea I have been feeling throughout the day.  I still don’t feel the greatest, but man, I hope I am lucky and don’t ever feel the way I felt on Tuesday ever again.  No bueno.

I also keep forgetting to give shout-outs to my friends and their amazing generousity, so I’m going to do that now.  Right after we found out we were pregnant, I went out for a girl’s night with some girlfriends, Cami, Jenny, and Emily (and Tiffany joined later), and those girls got me the sweetest card and these…

They were beautiful, and were amazingly still alive after we left for three days for Labor Day weekend.  Thanks, girls!

A few days before that, when my buddy and favorite stylist in the whole wide world found out we were pregnant, she sent me these…

That picture doesn’t quite do them justice, as the stargazer lilies bloomed into these HUGE, gorgeous flowers a few days after I took this picture.  And I just love the “vase” this came in – it has a lid, and I’m going to try to incorporate it into the babies’ room somehow.  Thanks, Alex!

A few days ago, my friend Beth, and her husband, Matt, came over with their little girl to drop this off…

It’s a basket FULL of bath and body goodies – my FAVORITE!!!!  Unfortunately, I can’t take a bath until (probably) my second trimester (don’t ask), but when I can, it’s ON!!!  I cannot WAIT to use all of these wonderful products.  Thanks, Beth & Matt!!!

And just this last Monday, my friend (and bakery owner), Porche, dropped off some DELICIOUS cupcakes to my work – one for me, one for Bo, and one for Go – HA!  Everyone at work was so jealous, it was awesome!  I did end up sharing with a co-worker, so I didn’t feel too terribly greedy.  Thank you, P!

Mr. Hyde

And now I vent.

When we were struggling with getting pregnant, we heard it ALL.  I seriously don’t think a week went by in almost three years where we didn’t hear the “just relax”, “why don’t you just adopt?”, “try taking a vacation” or “it will happen when it’s meant to happen” comments.  It was annoying, hurtful, and it just got really freakin’ old.  I just wanted to shout back to people “is relaxing or taking a vacation going to make my husband produce normal-shaped sperm?!?!?!?!?!?!??  Is it?!?!?!??” but I never did.  I kept my cool, mostly because I think a lot of people said these things because they simply didn’t know what else to say, or they were uneducated about infertility.

My new pet peeve is when people say the following – “you just don’t know until you have kids”, “are you sure you’ll be able to handle two at the same time?” or “everything changes when you have kids you know”.  Everybody has to have an opinion, and it’s already getting old.  For the record, I don’t know what it’s like to have kids, but most people don’t know what it’s like to not have kids, but want them more than anything in the whole world.  Our parenting style will likely be worlds different than those parents who didn’t struggle to have a child, and I’m not saying that’s a good or bad thing – it’s just the way it is.  Will we be able to handle having two kids at the same time?  Jesus, I hope so – but you know what – the truth is I DON’T KNOW, so just keep your damn mouth shut!  And the comment “everything changes when you have kids” just makes me think that people think I’m ignorant and would never stop to think about that.  Seriously people – do you really think we would have spent $35K trying to have a baby if we didn’t want it to change our lives?  Hello!

Okay, I think I’m done for now.  I’m just so over people thinking that maybe I’m not cut out to be a parent, or that I don’t know what motherhood entails just because I don’t have kids yet.  I’m an educated, intelligent young woman, so at least give me the credit for knowing what “I’m getting myself into”.

Vent over.

Kerry

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9 Responses to “Jekyll & Hyde”

  1. Angelika said

    I will never understand the comment “everything changes when you have a kid.” UM, REALLY?!?!?! Wow – I SO didn’t know that. I just figured I would be pregnant for nine months for shits and giggles and then toss the baby in the closet and pull it out like a doll periodically to play with it. WTF?!?!!?

    People – seriously, STFU. You just make yourself look ignorant and nobody wants to hear what you have to say anyhow.

    P.S. Nollie has something for you too – which means we MUST see each other SOON. 🙂

  2. Beth M said

    Sorry that people say stupid things like that. I hate to say it, but get used to it. People will tell you exactly everything you’re doing wrong while your pregnant, make comments about how you look and say the RUDEST things you’ve ever heard, and then, once you’ve had your babies, they’ll tell you that EVERYTHING you do is wrong. No matter what you do.

    85 degrees out and you have your baby in a onesie-isn’t the baby cold?!?
    Cloth diapers-Ewwww, that’s gross. Why would anyone ever want to do that?
    Baby wearing-Doesn’t the baby get hot and uncomfortable in there?
    Baby is fussing-Oh, poor thing, she’s probably teething. Can’t you give her something for that.
    Breast feeding-She sure seems to want to nurse a lot, why don’t you give her some solids.

    It has come to the point that I seriously don’t want to go out of the house anymore so that I can avoid the world telling me what an incompetent mother I am.

    Sorry, vent on your blog over. =)

  3. Peggy said

    Ah Dear One, You’re going to have to clean up your language when you have my grandchild! But I do agree with you on the last two pet peeves. They would make me mad too. And the first is so self evident, why would anyone bother saying it. It’s that way for all of us. I’m sure it’s better for little Bo and Go to ignore those comments and concentrate on the good things. Love from the family Pollyanna

  4. jacqueblittle said

    Well I think people mean well but say the wrong thing. But I find that even though my DD is 17 months old I still get unwanted comments. Like when DD is having a naughty day and I happen to tell someone, they proceed to tell me it only gets worse, gee thanks just what I want to hear. So just kinda prepare yourself maybe, do the la la la thing with fingers in your ears. You and your DH will be FAB parents and you will take each day as they come, just like we all have and do. Good days and Bad, it will be wonderful. Hang in there, and great idea for a snack first thing in the am. What a smart mommy.

  5. Ann said

    I’m sorry, Kerry. Noah and Zach are almost 3.5 years old and I STILL get comments almost every time we leave the house. It’s a good thing that you’ve developed a thick skin! People are just stupid.

  6. Kari said

    I understand! Amen to that!! It is only going to get worse just wait until you have BO and GO. Then the opions really start to fly!!

  7. LeAnn said

    My opinion- not everything changes, but a lot of the stuff that does is so amaizing! You two (ok- four) will be just fine- not matter what life throws at you! I’m so excited to be a part of this wonderful adventure with you!!

  8. kimberly said

    I have been following your blog since July. I understand your fustration, but I would give anything to be where you are right now. My first IVF in July ended in miscarriage in August. Don’t let people steel your joy. You have two little reasons to be thankful.

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