“Finally…” continued

July 29, 2008

“How can a word mean so much, yet so little to me at the same time?  How can this word be such a blatant insult when it’s used in a happy context?” 

The thing is…and stop reading right here if you are offended easily…you shouldn’t get to say you “finally” got pregnant when you haven’t even been trying a year (even if you claimed to be “one of us”).  It’s offensive to those who have struggled with trying to conceive, and I just assume that everyone should know better.  Even when Jeff and I first started trying to have a baby, I would have NEVER said how frustrated I was that it wasn’t happening right away (before we hit the year-mark anyway), as I knew that it took most healthy couples anywhere from 6-12 months to get pregnant.

I know that it’s not healthy to be bitter like this, but I just can’t help it, and yes – I’m going to blame the drugs (psychotic episodes anyone?).  I would have never been this offended and hurt if Jeff and I were fertiles, but we’re not, so I am.  It doesn’t mean that I’m not happy for this person, but it also means that I’m not going out of my way to say “congratulations” either.  I mean, really?  “Finally?” 

:::rolling eyes so far back into my head that it hurts:::

Kerry

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8 Responses to ““Finally…” continued”

  1. Tarah said

    One thing that I’ve learned Kerry is that “fertiles” do not get it. You could talk to them until you’re blue in the face, but anything you tell them isn’t going to make sense.

    I’m sorry about the “Finally” comment. Hopefully your “FINALLY” is right aroud the corner. And I mean that in a good way. 🙂

  2. Lanie said

    I was initially confused, but I found the post. Ugh. I feel your pain.

    But I remember feeling like each month was an eternity. Then again, I’m at the one year mark now, so when I say “finally” in a few weeks, you can totally kick my ass for saying it! : )

  3. Larissa (smilelari) said

    I totally understand where you’re coming from. Blah

  4. Ann said

    I’m so sorry. I thought of you as soon as I saw that first thing this morning. Hugs!

  5. Tara said

    Well, I certainly get it. And I love you. Be all the bitter that you want…I’m a big girl and I can take it. 😉

  6. Roxy said

    I hear ya. People don’t know how good they have it. And I wish, for their sake, I could make them realize. There are always going to be people in the world who want to be victims, even ‘victims’ of infertility, because they love being felt sorry for.

    And I know, you don’t want sympathy, you want A BABY!

    All I can think about is the old saying “quit crying or I’ll give you something to really cry about” and wonder if karma will rear it’s ugly head.

  7. Erica said

    I hear ya! Or when they post their bfp and their ticker says that they have been trying for a grand total of 2 months! ((hugs))

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