I couldn’t *not* share this…

July 12, 2008

I found this excerpt on a blog of a fellow TTTC’er (TTTC = trouble trying to conceive, a message board I frequent), and it was WAY too good to pass up.  A lot of people just don’t realize how stupid or ignorant they sound when they give advice to those who are having TTTC, but this puts everything into perspective.

    So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile?

                                          (author unknown)

1. As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you’ll be able to walk again!

2. You can’t use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn’t have to walk anywhere!

3. My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.

4. I guess God just didn’t mean for you to be able to walk.

5. Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

6. Sorry, we don’t cover treatment for paraplegia, because it’s not a life-threatening illness.

7. So… when are *you* going to start walking?

8. Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk – everywhere I go!

9. But don’t you *want* to walk?

10. You’re just trying too hard. Relax and you’ll be able to walk.

11. You’re so lucky… think of the money you save on shoes.

12. I don’t know why you’re being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.

13. I hope you don’t try those anti-paralysis drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.

14. Look at those people hiking… doesn’t that make you want to hike?

15. Just relax, you’ll be walking in no time.

16. Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.

17. I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I’d have a permanent limp, but I’m 100% healed.

18. I’d ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.

19. You’re being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.

20. Don’t complain, you get all the good parking places.

21. If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

22. If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

23. You don’t know how to walk? What’s wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!

24. You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you’ll walk.

25. Here, touch my legs, then you’ll walk!

26. Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!

27. When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.

28. And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn’t find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running…




5 Responses to “I couldn’t *not* share this…”

  1. ischwab said

    Very good point 😉

  2. Beth K said

    mmmm, I don’t know quite how to react to that one. I heard one similar to that once comparing cancer to infertility… it obviously shows that people who offer advice have no idea about what they’re suggesting… but, I’d be careful about comparing some disabilities to others. I personally will take my infertility, and inability to have a biological child over not being able to walk AND not have a biological child. I personally (remember, this is all stated in my own humble opinion) find my circumstance not as bad as it could be. I’ve met people with cancer, HIV, and exteme low income, that have the same issue of not being able to have a biological child either and not be able to do anything except “accept” life as it is. So it’s hard to look at these type of comparisons and compare myself to it. Being parapalegic would be pretty damn hard in addition to being infertile. I’ll take being healthy and happy with DH over the hardships of being in a chair and no child any day… again… imho.

  3. Beth K said

    If I could hit delete I would, I’m sorry if I caused more distress, I really didn’t mean to. Basically this all just sucks – I’ll try to keep my mouth/fingers shut!!

  4. Ondrea said

    this made me LMFAO!!!! I know you’re not comparing IF to paraplegia – but it makes a good point regarding the “advice” people give you. 🙂

  5. Beth M said

    Matt and I LOL’d at these. People can be really dumb, so I love that you posted this to illustrate how insensitive people are when it comes to infertility. And, one thousand apologies for anything I might have ever said that was hurtful, no matter how well-meaning.

    Love you!!

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