June 30, 2008

I know the term is sooooo overused (especially by me, or any other infertile for that matter), but life really isn’t fucking fair sometimes.  I’m not really talking about what Jeff posted below, although putting our life and plans and vacations and “what ifs” on hold for infertility sucks donkey balls.  I’m talking about friends who struggle to get pregnant and finally get pregnant after months and years of trying, only to lose the baby weeks (or months) later.

I mean, a miscarriage is bad enough (I’ve been lucky enough to have never had one, but I can only imagine).  Multiple miscarriages are beyond devastating to hear about.  A miscarriage after struggling with infertility is incomprehensible to me.  Losing twins at 23 weeks is a sick, cruel joke that a couple should NEVER have to go through.  Ever.  I mean, how much can we infertiles be expected to go through before we get what we so rightfully deserve?  I just don’t get it.

I was talking with my Dad the other day about all of this, and he told me that the one thing he’s really worried about with all of this is that it may not work.  Or if it works, but ends in miscarriage (or stillbirth).  Of course, he is holding out that it will work, but he did say that he was worried what I would do/say/think if it didn’t.  I hate that my Dad has to worry about that, but I definitely understand.  It’s something that Jeff and I have discussed at length, and we both agree that it’s beyond our control so we cannot allow ourselves to worry about it.  And besides, this is GOING TO WORK, so we don’t even need to worry about it.  =)

This post is dedicated to my friend, Tarah, her husband, and their little angels.  I’m so sorry, buddy.



One Response to “ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  1. Felicia said

    I am so sorry for your friend’s loss. I pray every day that no one ever has to experience infertility or miscarriage or stillbirth ever again. Even though I know how blessed I am, overall, I can’t lie and say that the miscarriages haven’t changed me forever. There is a permanent pinhole in my heart that will always be there.

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